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I practiced law for seven years, and old attorney habits die hard. So let me give you two important disclaimers here. The first is we are not suggesting that you be psychologists. Being a natural mentor doesn’t mean you have to be someone’s counsellor. In fact, it’s probably illegal and definitely impractical for you to usurp that role. But you can connect people with the resources that are available, including if it’s available on your campus, a counselling center.
Think of it this way, if you were playing soccer with friends and they collided and you could see one of them on the ground in pain with the bone sticking out, you’d tell them to go to the doctor even though you’re not a doctor and you’d give them a ride. That’s not practicing medicine, that’s just being a good friend. Similarly, as gatekeepers, which is what mental health professionals call people like us, parents, teachers, others who are on the front lines, see and interact with people a lot, but aren’t mental health professionals. We’re uniquely positioned to persuade people to take advantage of the mental health resources that could really help improve their lives.
And surveys show a surprisingly high percentage of students, even those who are suicidal, aren’t getting the mental health professional help that they need for their mental health challenges. Incidentally, there’s training available for those of us in these gatekeeper roles. For example, there’s one program that I used that was really helpful called QPR. It stands for question, persuade, and refer, and I’ve put it into practice. When a student seems really down, I’ve asked them, do you feel suicidal? Which is what I learned to do in the QPR training.
And when they do say that they feel suicidal, then I persuaded them to get the mental health help that they need. In my case, literally walking them over to the counselling center and ensuring that they got an appointment that day. Here’s the other disclaimer, draw boundaries. You could get sucked in, and this could overwhelm you either with an individual student or the collective load. So, make it clear that there’s some things you can do, but other things that are beyond the scope of your role as a natural mentor or professor in their lives. Doing that will help you maintain the wellness that you need to be able to help promote their wellness. It’s the old airline principle that you should put on your oxygen mask first before putting on other people’s oxygen masks because you need to be thinking clearly. So, take care of our own wellness so that we can better help boost wellness of our students, which will boost their learning.
As you try to do more to become natural mentors to students, especially those with mental health challenges, here are a couple of important caveats to keep in mind. First, most of us aren’t licensed mental health professionals, so we’re not looking to provide counselling. In fact, in most parts of the world, that would be illegal. But just as wise friends who aren’t doctors might encourage injured or sick friends to get medical help, we can connect our students with unmet mental health needs with resources available on our campuses, including counselling centers, where available.
Second, to preserve our own mental health, we have to pace ourselves. We can’t be all things to all students. But we shouldn’t let that keep us from providing a bit more personalised support to at least some of our students. It’s remarkable what a significant effect a small amount of targeted effort can have from professors who genuinely care about their students.
Discussions
Do you use specific strategies or language to let students know that you are available to mentor or help them outside of the classroom?
Please share your thoughts and questions in the comments section below.